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keep growing old

by jacob

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1.
i 02:02
i, invisible, met you, the sun now all light is gone, as is desire …and attention i need some time to figure out what i need in my life, separate from you …i know you're not listening and know you don't need to you were the sun i will write you endless songs that won't see the light of day i will write you endless songs and still drive you away
2.
old 01:07
…lets pretend that i found it (how many times) how many nights of writing words for a couple, with a couple of buys how many times will i try till i get it right? how old am i? when does life mean another time? how many times will i try before i think its enough? will i know when I’m old/will i know when to quit? without forever chasing something that so many have missed
3.
twenty 02:23
twenty years into a car just to drive it back to where you are… i left the house a year ago unbeknownst to what you know that i… “don’t do well on my own” you came inside out of the rain (i heard the news and felt your pain) your loving wife had lost her way, died in an accident that day i felt all my strength leave my legs and none of it made any sense (i doesn’t even matter at all) as i carried her back to her grave… i tried but failed to be brave i tried but failed to be brave
4.
stayed 01:20
1. another time that you weren’t listening 2. and I would try but you weren’t next to me 3. you never tried …i could argue that forever… i know, so simply… “I just stayed” i should have walked away… i didn’t mean to
5.
lungs 01:45
i spent every night for two years thinking as I went to sleep “i hope you’re okay” the feeling of regret sinks deep into my skin as the sense of you’re perfume (fades away) and I spent every night alone writing to no one hoping I would see you smile one day go along like id love to/ like I was hardly there go along and then ill let you live alone instead (cut me loose, send me under and send me home) you’ll never know, you’ll never know at all that i let you go along as if i had to …I’m okay (cut me loose, send me under and send me home) you are the morning sun/ you are the breath in my lungs
6.
bricks 04:03
in two short years i threw away the things i held most dear to my heart the christian god and my mother i sit here now not knowing whether to shrug it off forever …or kill myself and end this hell… i see my friends and they smile, i smile back at them but the truth is… as cliché as it seems (i don’t know a thing past my own skin) when you were there for me I shrugged it off i was there for everyone except myself i am made of liars bricks built on top of false foundations
7.
shoes 04:21
they say “actions speak louder than words” but i don’t think that’s true things that were said sixteen years ago haunting me through i was soon diagnosed but i always knew (my life would a constant struggle compared to life for you) eighteen…”i wasn’t supposed to get this far?” with tooth and nail i scratched/clawed my way from class to class “you’ll struggle” “you’re lazy” “you’ll never improve” (finishing high school and still you cant tie your shoes?...) …i had issues…to you …im okay
8.
clever 02:25
i better feel better (than I bet I wont care) talking to another and ill try to forget i know its easy…i should know better… (but ill still come around) I’ll stay mad and I’ll try to think i understand how you act so clever all the time? i made a point of leaving just before you got here i took a drive home before i fucking lost it i know its easy (…I’ll regret) …you act so clever when you’re wrong? (i bet, i bet) I’ll just say you won’t (but I’ll still come around)

credits

released May 12, 2015

thank you Joe Andersons


xoxo Ruairi, Dave, Nick, Chanon

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jacob Wollongong, Australia

Jacob are rock band from Australia.

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